Sticks and Stones Can Break My Bones,
by chibichocolate1313
Summary: I feel like I'm dying a slow, painful death, and it's all his fault.


(AN: For once, this will be really quick. The Seemingly Perfect Princess will be updated soon, and this little story here is entirely in Matt's POV. Review if you'd like.)

Disclaimer: If I owned Death Note, I'd have ALL the bitches. xD

I feel like I'm dying a slow, painful death, and it's all his fault. He was my life, the reason I woke up every day, the person I worshipped like a God, and someone of great value to me. He is Mello.

He abandoned me. He threw me away. I'm not a part of his plan to capture Kira, avenge L, and gloat in Near's face. I would always just be the weird ginger that followed him around at Wammy's, like a lost puppy.

That's all I am, really- a lost puppy. I got attached to the first person who showed me genuine kindness after my Mother died. He saved me. He made me feel again. And along the way, I fell in love with him.

I never told Mello how he made me felt. How every sickeningly sweet, venomous word that rolled off his tongue made my stomach flip, or how just his looks could attract me like a magnet. But everyone was attracted to Mello. He was insanely gorgeous, and intelligent, and amazing... But he is very cruel.

He left without even saying good-bye. He ditched our "friendship" for a life on the streets, where he would probably end up joining a gang, or become a prostitute, knowing Mello.

But really, no one knew Mello. Mello never let down his invisible barrier for anyone, not even me. Yes, he was kinder to me than the other Wammy kids, but he didn't trust me. It didn't matter what you believe in, your age, gender, sexual orientation, or what you like/dislike, because Mello hates everyone- even himself.

Now, if you shared a room with that heartless bastard, you would hear him constantly puttinng himself down, telling himself how rubbish he is, how he does nothing but hurt people, and how ugly he is inside. Of course, I couldn't do anything to stop this. I tried once, and healmost poked my bloody eye out! (that's why I wear goggles now, by the way.) The most I ever did was give him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. That's all he would let me do.

Believe me, if I had it my way, I would have held him in my arms, kissed him all over his face, and told him everything that made him beautiful, special, and perfect. I regret not doing it when I had the chance.

I never got to kiss him. I never got to hug him. We never cuddled, or touched each other. He barely seemed to notice I was there, except for when I was playing Ocarina of Time too loudly. ("Matt, turn off that damn noise!")

It's been 2 years. I feel dead. I never leave the room anymore. Without Mello, I don't see a point in this ridiculous thing called life. I only have Linda to look forward to, who rarely talks to me now.

I'm shattered, like a pot after Link throws it. (Break dem pots, get dem rupees, bitch!) Like those pots, I'm slowly disappearing. Yet, I keep coming back. I'm used to this cycle of getting hurt, then glued back together. I'm used to all this pain.

I know you may be wondering why I'm in love with such a twat. I'll tell you now. He gave me something very important.

A long time ago, there was a young woman named Melanie. She had 2 children- Mary and Mihael. One day, Mary died in an accident (a traffic accident) and Melanaie was badly injured. Mihael was the only one who remained unharmed. A few days later at the hospital, Melanie had given her son a bracelet, and promised him to keep it safe. He did, and she died soon after.

Mello gave me that bracelet, as a token of our friendship. And he also told me he made up his alias from his mother's name. I hold the information and the bracelet close to my heart, and I will until the day my soul departs from this world.

I'm not that great of a writer, really. Even this little note is just me writing about randomness that doesn't magter much to anyone besides me. It's all over the place. But these are my last feelings I will show, until I see him again.

In other words, I will not feel again.

(AN: ahem, sorry about how crappily this is written... and I also apologise for typos, I can't currently fix them. Questions? Coments? Concerns? You can review or PM me about any, either way I will reply when I can c: Now, off to play Wind Waker! :DD)


End file.
